In an attempt to not tear out my hair in the middle of a dirty/messy house, I have a list of chores I do on the first of the month, every month. I’m very much a creature of routine, of habit, of listmaking. It’s the residual undiagnozed spiciness of the last (almost) forty years. I love having a clean house, not just a tidy one. I love the smell of lemon cleaner, which I’m pretty sure was a womb trait because my mom loved the smell of Lysol when she was pregnant with me. Do one, do a few, or do all, but I promise, knowing that your cleaners are themselves clean is such a good feeling. Seriously, these first of the month chores have helped me so much.
Here’s what I do twelve times a year, on the first of the month:
- Clean out the dryer lint trap with the vacuum. I try to clean out the lint trap every other cycle, but sometimes the lint falls back in. I pop the little skinny stick attachment on the vacuum and suck it all out. Clothes get dry faster and I won’t start a fire. At least, not like this.
- Replace toothbrushes. Few things make me happier than a new toothbrush, so I replace all of ours on the first of the month. It’s just a nice way to start the month.
- Clean bathtub jets. I swear, I will never in my life live in another house with a jetted tub. We never use the jets, but they sure get gunky in a hurry! I use the toothbrushes we just replaced and get in there with a mixture of vinegar and blue Dawn and gag my way to sparkling jets.
- Wash shower curtain + liner. We have a cloth shower curtain liner that’s easily washable, so I toss it and the shower curtains in the washing machine on scalding with some regular detergent. I used to never pay attention to it until it became tinged pink 🤢 so now I’m just doing it every month.
- Descale the coffee maker. I use our coffee maker(s) every day. We have one regular Ninja Coffee bar, as well as an espresso machine. I take everything apart and wash the pieces, but I also use Affresh Coffee Maker cleaner tablets. It’s so easy, you just toss one in the water basin and run a few cycles. Poof, clean coffee maker!
- Clean the garbage disposal. I hate anything to do with the garbage disposal. One, because everything that goes in there ends up mushy and my spiciness does not take that texture well, and two, I’ve watched too many Final Destination/Urban Legend/weird horror shows where the lead gets her arm mangled in it. I use the LemiShine Grabage disposal cleaner tablets. You tun some hot water, toss one in, turn on the disposal and it gets all foamy and pleasant smelling. And bonus, you don’t have to stick your arms anywhere near the opening 👍
- Clean the dishwasher basin. Have you ever opened your dishwasher filter? It dragged for for filth. Soggy nastiness, but man, your dishes get so much cleaner when you clear out all the shit. I pull off the filter and clean it, then toss in a Cascade Platinum dishwasher cleaner tab and run it on the “Clean” cycle.
- Clean the washing machine basin. Our washing machine has a “Clean” feature on it, but like to take it a step further. I’ll clean the underside of the door (it’s a top loading washer) and all the little crannies that get gunky and fuzzy, and then I drop an Affresh Washing Machine cleaner tablet in and run the Clean cycle. We use a few different types of detergent, and the tablet helps get all the lingering smells out.
- Replace loofahs. I sometimes feel like I’m stretching my loofahs too far, but for now, I replace them every month. They get washed at least once a week, but those things are yuck traps. Now that I’m writing this, I may reconsider my loofah usage 😂
- Clean my rings. I add a cup of Windex and a few drops of blue Dawn into a small bowl, microwave it for 45 seconds, and drop my rings in. I let them soak for about ten minutes, then use an old toothbrush head to give them a light scrubbing. Two things to keep in mind here: (1) do NOT put your rings in before the microwave portion, your microwave will explode, thank you; and (2) the bowl and its liquid will be hotter than hell when you take it out, be careful.
In addition to my first of the month chores, I also have three chores that only get completed every three months. They are such a nice addition to the first of the month chores, they just don’t need to be done monthly.
Here are the first-of-the-month-but-only-every-third-month chores:
- Wash the curtains. I have some dirt grubb children that pull on the curtain and leave little smudge marks on my light-colored curtains. Take that with AC vents right above the windows that can blow fuzz on them, and around every third month they need to be cleaned.
- Change the air filter. See above. Don’t sleep on changing your air filters! You deserve good air!
- Self-clean the oven. I spill. A lot. My oven needs this. I try to do it when I’ll be out of the house because it gets hot as hell and stinky, but it’s so pretty to look at afterward!
Does anyone else have a list like this, or am I bananas? Am I missing anything that makes your heart sing?
